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<h1>I'm not talking about the postal system silly!</h1>

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<li><a href="#part1">Addressing people properly in Japanese</a></li>
<li><a href="#part2">Referring to yourself</a></li>
<li><a href="#part3">Referring to others by name</a></li>
<li><a href="#part4">Referring to others with "you"</a></li>
<li><a href="#part5">Referring to others in third person</a></li>
<li><a href="#part6">Referring to family members</a></li>
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<h2 id="part1">Addressing people properly in Japanese</h2>
Not only is it important to use the right type of language with the right people, it is also important to address them by the right name.  It is also
important to address yourself with the proper level of politeness.  Japanese is special in that there are so many ways of saying the simple words, "I"
and "you".  We will go over some of ways to refer to yourself and others.

<h2 id="part2">Referring to yourself</h2>
There are many ways to say "I" in Japanese.  Some of these words are not as common and others are hopelessly outdated.  We will go over the
most common ones that are in use today.  The usages of all the different words for "I" is separated into two categories: gender and politeness.  In other
words, there are words that are usually used by males and words that are usually only used by females and they all depend on the social context.
<p>Before going into this: a note about the word 「<span title="わたし - me, myself, I" class="popup">私</span>」.  The official reading of the kanji is 「<span title="わたくし - me, myself, I" class="popup">わたくし</span>」.  This is the reading you is used in a
formal context (for example, a speech by the president of a company).  This reading will probably be accompanied with
honorific and humble forms, which we will cover later.  In all other situations, it is usually read as 「<span title="わたし - me, myself, I" class="popup">わたし</span>」.  This is the most generic
reference to "I" in terms of politeness and gender; therefore it is usually one of the first words taught to students of Japanese.
</p>

Here is a list of the most common words for "I" and how they are used:
<ol>
<li><span title="わたくし - me, myself, I (formal)" class="popup">私</span>（わたくし） - Used by both males and females for formal situations.</li>
<li><span title="わたし - me, myself, I" class="popup">私</span>（わたし） - Used by both males and females for normal polite situations.</li>
<li><span title="ぼく - me, myself, I" class="popup">僕</span> - Used primarily by males from fairly polite to fairly casual situations.</li>
<li><span title="おれ - me, myself, I" class="popup">俺</span> - A very rough version of "I" used almost exclusively by males in very casual situations.</li>
<li><span title="あたし - me, myself, I" class="popup">あたし</span> - A very feminine and casual way to refer to oneself.  Many girls have decided to opt for 「<span title="わたし - me, myself, I" class="popup">わたし</span>」 instead because 「<span title="あたし - me, myself, I" class="popup">あたし</span>」 has a cutesy and
girly sound.</li>
<li>One's own name - Also a very feminine and kind of childish way to refer to oneself.</li>
<li><span title="わし - me, myself, I" class="popup">わし</span> - Usually used by older men well in their middle-ages.</li>
</ol>


<p>Let's see how different types of sentences use the appropriate version of "I".  「わたくし」 is left out because we have yet to go over very formal
grammatical expressions.
</p>
<p>
（１）　<span title="わたし - me, myself, I" class="popup">私</span>の<span title="なまえ - name" class="popup">名前</span>はキムです。- My name is Kim. (Neutral, polite)
<br />（２）　<span title="ぼく - me, myself, I" class="popup">僕</span>の<span title="なまえ - name" class="popup">名前</span>はキムです。- My name is Kim. (Masculine, polite)
<br />（３）　<span title="ぼく - me, myself, I" class="popup">僕</span>の<span title="なまえ - name" class="popup">名前</span>はボブだ。- My name is Bob. (Masculine, casual)
<br />（４）　<span title="おれ - me, myself, I" class="popup">俺</span>の<span title="なまえ - name" class="popup">名前</span>はボブだ。- My name is Bob. (Masculine, casual)
<br />（５）　<span title="あたし - me, myself, I" class="popup">あたし</span>の<span title="なまえ - name" class="popup">名前</span>はアリス。- My name is Alice. (Feminine, casual)
</p>

<h2 id="part3">Referring to others by name</h2>
Japanese does not require the use of "you" nearly as much as English does.  I hope that the examples with Bob, Alice, and Jim have shown that
people refer to other people by their names even when they are directly addressing that person.  Another common way to address people is
by their title such as 「<span title="しゃちょう - company president" class="popup">社長</span>」、「<span title="かちょう - section manager" class="popup">課長</span>」、「<span title="せんせい - teacher" class="popup">先生</span>」, etc.  The word 「<span title="せんせい - teacher" class="popup">先生</span>」 is used to generally mean any person who has significant knowledge and expertise
in something.  For example, people usually use 「<span title="せんせい - teacher" class="popup">先生</span>」 when directly addressing doctors or teachers (obviously).  You can also include the
person's last name such as 「田中<span title="せんせい - teacher" class="popup">先生</span>」 (teacher Tanaka).  In the case where your relationship
with the person doesn't involve any title, you can use their name
(usually their last name) attached with 「さん」 to show politeness.  If calling them by their last name seems a little too polite and distant, the practice
of attaching 「さん」 to their first name also exists.  More endearing and colloquial versions of 「さん」 include 「くん」 and 「ちゃん」.  「くん」 is usually attached to
the name of males who are of equal or lower social position.  (For example, my boss sometimes calls me 「キムくん」).
「ちゃん」 is a very endearing way to refer to usually females of equal or lower social position.

<h2 id="part4">Referring to others with "you"</h2>
Please do not use 「<span title="あなた - you" class="popup">あなた</span>」 just like you would use the word "you" in English.
In directly addressing people, there are three levels of politeness: 1) Using the person's name with the appropriate suffix, 2) Not using anything
at all, 3) Using 「<span title="あなた - you" class="popup">あなた</span>」.  In fact, by the time you get to three, you're dangerously in the area of being rude.  Most of the time, you do not need to
use anything at all because you are directly addressing the person.  Constantly pounding the listener with "you" every sentence sounds like you are
accusing the person of something.

<p>
「<span title="あなた - you" class="popup">あなた</span>」 is also an old-fashioned way for women to refer to their husband or lover.
Unless you are a middle-aged women with a Japanese husband, I doubt you will be using 「<span title="あなた - you" class="popup">あなた</span>」 in this fashion as well.
</p>

<p>
Here is a list of some words meaning "you" in English. You will rarely need to use any of these words, especially the ones in the second half of the list.
</p>

<ol>
<li><span title="あなた - you" class="popup">あなた</span> - Generally only used when there is no way to physically address the person or know the person's name.
For example, direct questions to the reader on a form that the reader must fill out would use 「<span title="あなた - you" class="popup">あなた</span>」.</li>
<li><span title="きみ - you" class="popup">君</span> - Can be a very close and assuming way to address girls (especially by guys).  Can also be kind of rude.</li>
<li><span title="おまえ - you" class="popup">お前</span> - A very rough and coarse way to address someone.  Usually used by guys and often changed to 「<span title="おめえ - you" class="popup">おめえ</span>」.</li>
<li><span title="あんた - you" class="popup">あんた</span> - A very assuming and familiar way to address someone.  The person using this is maybe miffed off about something.</li>
<li><span title="てまえ - you" class="popup">手前</span> - Very rude.  Like 「<span title="おまえ - you" class="popup">お前</span>」, to add extra punch, people will usually say it like, 「てめ～～」.  Sounds like you want to beat someone up.  I've
only seen this one used in movies and comic books.  In fact, if you try this on your friends, they will probably laugh at you and tell you that you've
probably been reading too many comic books.</li>
<li><span title="きさま - you" class="popup">貴様</span> - Very, very rude.  Sounds like you want to take someone out.  I've also only seen this one used in comic books.  I only go over it so you
can understand and enjoy comic books yourself!</li>
</ol>


<h2 id="part5">Referring to others in third person</h2>
You can use 「<span title="かれ - he; boyfriend" class="popup">彼</span>」 and 「<span title="かのじょ - she, girlfriend" class="popup">彼女</span>」 for "he" and "she" respectively.
Notice that 「<span title="かれ - he; boyfriend" class="popup">彼</span>」 and 「<span title="かのじょ - she, girlfriend" class="popup">彼女</span>」 can also mean "boyfriend" and "girlfriend".
So how can you tell which meaning is being used?  Context, of course.  For example, if someone asks, 「<span title="かのじょ - she, girlfriend" class="popup">彼女</span>ですか？」 the person is obviously asking if she is you're girlfriend because the
question, "Is she she?" doesn't make any sense.
Another less commonly used alternative is to say 「<span title="ガールフレンド - girlfriend" class="popup">ガールフレンド</span>」 and
「<span title="ボーイフレンド - boyfriend" class="popup">ボーイフレンド</span>」 for, well, I'm sure you can guess what they mean.


<h2 id="part6">Referring to family members</h2>
Referring to family members is a little more complicated than English.  (It could be worse, try learning Korean!)  For the purpose of brevity,
(since this <i>is</i> a grammar guide and not a vocabulary guide) we will only go over the immediate family.  In Japanese, you refer to members of
other people's family more politely than your own.  This is only when you are talking about members of your own family to others <u>outside the
family</u>.  For example, you would refer to your own mother as 「<span title="はは - mother" class="popup">母</span>」 to people outside your family but you might very well call her 「<span title="おかあさん - mother" class="popup">お母さん</span>」 at home
within your own family.  There is also a distinction
between older and younger siblings.  The following chart list some of the most common terms for family members.  There may also be other possibilities not covered in this chart.
<p />
<center>
<table border="1" cellpadding="5">
<caption>Family member chart</caption>
<tr align="center"><th></th><th>One's own family</th><th>Someone else's family</th></tr>
<tr align="center"><td>Parents</td><td><span title="りょうしん - parents" class="popup">両親</span></td><td><span title="ごりょうしん - parents" class="popup">ご両親</span></td></tr>
<tr align="center"><td>Mother</td><td><span title="はは - mother" class="popup">母</span></td><td><span title="おかあさん - mother" class="popup">お母さん</span></td></tr>
<tr align="center"><td>Father</td><td><span title="ちち - father" class="popup">父</span></td><td><span title="おとうさん - father" class="popup">お父さん</span></td></tr>
<tr align="center"><td>Wife</td><td><span title="つま - wife" class="popup">妻</span></td><td><span title="おくさん - wife" class="popup">奥さん</span></td></tr>
<tr align="center"><td>Husband</td><td><span title="おっと - husband" class="popup">夫</span></td><td><span title="ごしゅじん - husband" class="popup">ご主人</span></td></tr>
<tr align="center"><td>Older Sister</td><td><span title="あね - older sister" class="popup">姉</span></td><td><span title="おねえさん - older sister" class="popup">お姉さん</span></td></tr>
<tr align="center"><td>Older Brother</td><td><span title="あに - older brother" class="popup">兄</span></td><td><span title="おにいさん - older brother" class="popup">お兄さん</span></td></tr>
<tr align="center"><td>Younger Sister</td><td><span title="いもうと - younger sister" class="popup">妹</span></td><td><span title="いもうとさん - younger sister" class="popup">妹さん</span></td></tr>
<tr align="center"><td>Younger Brother</td><td><span title="おとうと - younger brother" class="popup">弟</span></td><td><span title="おとうとさん - younger brother" class="popup">弟さん</span></td></tr>
<tr align="center"><td>Son</td><td><span title="むすこ - son" class="popup">息子</span></td><td><span title="むすこさん - son" class="popup">息子さん</span></td></tr>
<tr align="center"><td>Daughter</td><td><span title="むすめ - daughter" class="popup">娘</span></td><td><span title="むすめさん - daughter" class="popup">娘さん</span></td></tr>
</table>
</center>
<p>Another word for wife, 「<span title="かない - wife" class="popup">家内</span>」 is often considered politically incorrect because the kanji used are "house" and "inside" which implies that
wives belong in the home. Amen. (Just kidding)
</p>

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<div class="small" style="text-align:right;"><pre>This page has last been revised on 2006/2/7
Cleaned up various small errors and expanded on あなた (2006/2/7)</pre>
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